This is the sad trap we all can fall into
Since jumping back into the fitness industry at full speed, a couple of months ago, I’ve noticed that most of your trainers, coaches, and any other fitness professionals address questions around body image with logical statements like “ No one else is really paying attention to you, so just do your thing.” or “ you just need to get past this because you’re not the person you are when you started your weight loss journey.”
Here’s the thing, those statements aren’t necessarily incorrect, but what drives someone to think them is on an emotional level how they see themselves on the inside.
Our relationship with food comes back to how we feel about ourselves deep down as a person.
When someone’s trying to lose weight, they’re not only trying to create new habits and routines but more importantly, they have to be able to connect with themselves and work through everything that they have been carrying emotionally, in many cases their entire life.
The saddest thing to see is someone doing all this work to change what’s on the outside because that’s something they’ve desperately wanted for a long time, only to see them win the weight loss game but soon realize that they don’t feel any different on the inside.
Some of them then feel guilty because they chased something for so long thinking it would make them happy but instead they feel empty to some level.
This isn’t just a weight loss industry issue. This is chasing anything outside of yourself thinking it’s going to fill the void and remove the pain.
Your best bet is to start reconnecting with yourself now and work through everything you feel while you are chasing after all of those goals.
I know you can do it. 💪🏻
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Hey there. I want you to stop explaining yourself so much.
I see this all the time, and I have done it myself. You share your plans, your goals, or the changes you are trying to make, and when someone questions them, you immediately feel the need to justify every detail. You explain your thinking. You plead your case. You hope they will understand.
Hey there. I want to nudge you to start keeping promises to yourself.
Not big promises. Not dramatic ones. Small ones that you make every single day, often without even realizing it.
Hey there. You get to choose where you go from here.
That might sound obvious, but it does not always feel that way when you have been stuck in the same patterns for years. Especially if those patterns are tied to weight loss, body image, or the belief that you need to fix yourself before you can live the life you want.
Hey there. Where you are right now did not happen by accident.
I know that statement can feel heavy at first, especially if life has dealt you some unfair cards. I am not pretending that everything in your life was chosen. A lot of things were not. There were circumstances, decisions, and situations placed on you that you had no control over. That matters. It deserves to be acknowledged.
Hey there. Who are you for yourself?
I ask that question a lot, and every time I do, I notice how uncomfortable it makes people. It used to make me uncomfortable too. We are so used to defining ourselves by roles. Parent. Partner. Caregiver. Employee. Boss. Friend. The dependable one. The strong one. The one who keeps everything moving.
Those answers come quickly.
Hey there. For a long time, I thought taking responsibility meant blaming myself for everything that went wrong. If something felt off in my life, my body, my relationships, or my work, I either beat myself up or pointed the finger somewhere else. Neither one ever helped.
Hey there. There is a quiet way people lose themselves, and it rarely looks dramatic.
It usually starts with good intentions. You want to help. You want to be supportive. You want to make things easier for the people around you. If you have spent years being the dependable one, the accommodating one, the one who keeps things running, this probably feels familiar.
Hey there. There is a moment that shows up when you start doing things differently. It might be changing how you eat after years of dieting. It might be lifting weights in a way that finally feels supportive instead of punishing. It might be stepping away from extremes and deciding you want something calmer and more sustainable. That moment often comes with confusion from other people.
Hey there. There is a moment that shows up any time you start something new or return to something after time away. It feels awkward. Unsteady. Almost like you do not belong. Most people label that feeling as imposter syndrome and immediately assume it means something is wrong.
Hey there. For a long time, I thought having a solid plan meant having control. If I could map things out clearly enough, stick to the plan, and follow it step by step, everything would work out exactly the way it was supposed to. That belief showed up everywhere in my life, especially in fitness and weight loss.
Hey there. I want to ask you a simple question. What are you avoiding?
I am not asking this in a dramatic way. I am asking it because the thing you keep pushing aside is not neutral. It is quietly taking up space in your head. It shows up in your thoughts when things get quiet. It shows up in your energy. It shows up in the way you make decisions, even when you pretend it is not there.
Hey there. For a long time, I thought there was something wrong with me. I had interests, goals, and ambitions that did not line up with what most people around me seemed to want. In fitness, in work, and in life, I constantly felt like I was trying to squeeze myself into a version that made other people more comfortable.
Hey there. For a long time, I believed that fitness and weight loss were mostly about doing the right things. Eat better. Exercise more. Stay consistent. If I could just line up the habits, the results would eventually take care of themselves.
Hey there. I talk a lot about perception because it shapes far more than most people realize. How you see yourself, your progress, and your ability to change quietly becomes the life you live. This is true in fitness, but it is just as true in your career, relationships, and confidence.