Hey there. Something I talk about a lot is how, from this point forward, you can go in whatever direction you want. Your life up to this moment has shaped you, but moving forward is your responsibility. You have the power to choose where you go next. It doesn’t matter how you got here. What matters is what you do from here.
That sounds simple, right? Logically, it makes sense. But when you really try to put it into practice, it’s not so easy. Much of our identity is tied to our past experiences. We reinforce beliefs about ourselves based on what we’ve been through. We say things like, "This is just who I am," or "This is why I do what I do." It feels like those experiences define us.
But they don’t have to.
Breaking Free From the Past
It’s tough to separate yourself from your past. Even if you’re ready to move forward, set boundaries, and create new patterns, it’s easy to fall back into old ways of thinking. You might assume people will treat you the way they always have. You might hesitate to trust new situations because of past experiences.
We all do this. We look for patterns because they make life easier to navigate. But the problem is, patterns don’t always tell the full story. Just because something was true at one point in your life doesn’t mean it will always be true.
And honestly, change is scary. Believing in yourself is scary. If you’ve spent years putting others' needs ahead of your own, it might feel unnatural to prioritize yourself. You might even tell yourself that keeping the peace is easier. That if you just do enough, work hard enough, prove yourself enough, people will see your worth and treat you differently.
But that’s not how it works.
People will do what they do. And if you’re acting in hopes of changing their minds, that’s not fair to them or to you. I know this because I used to do it too. I thought that if people saw how much I cared, they’d change. But that’s not how life works. Change happens when you decide to do things differently, not when you try to get others to see you a certain way.
Letting Go of Expectations
One of the biggest steps forward is learning to let go of the expectations others have placed on you. That doesn’t mean you don’t care about people. It means you care enough about yourself to focus on what’s within your control.
You get to set your own standards. But be mindful of how you set them. It’s important to hold yourself accountable, but not in a way that sets you up for failure. If your expectations are too high, you might be sabotaging yourself without even realizing it. Sometimes, we set impossible goals just so we never have to try. That way, when we fail, we can say, “See? I knew it wouldn’t work.”
That’s just another form of protection. It keeps you stuck.
Finding Peace Within Yourself
So what’s the real goal? Success? Fulfillment? For me, it’s peace. It’s getting to a place where the noise in my head quiets down. Where I can focus on what matters without constantly second-guessing myself.
But here’s the thing. Peace and distraction can look very similar from the outside. Someone might think you have it all together when really, you’re just staying busy to avoid what’s really going on. Only you know whether you’re running from something or truly finding peace.
This process isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. It’s about being able to reflect on your choices and take ownership of where you go from here. You’re not going to get everything right all at once. And that’s okay.
But when you’re ready—really ready—you will move forward. And when you do, you’ll realize that the life you want has been within reach all along.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
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