Hey there. We all experience emotional pain—whether it's from life circumstances, self-doubt, or the relentless pressures we face. The question is, what do we do with that pain? For a long time, I internalized mine. I used it to tear myself down, piece by piece, from the inside out. Maybe you’ve done the same. Perhaps you’ve let your inner critic dictate how you see yourself, your worth, and your contributions to the world.

It’s a cycle that’s all too common, especially in spaces like fitness and weight loss. We’re conditioned to critique every detail of our bodies, from weight to body composition, believing these external measures will define our happiness or self-worth. But here’s the truth: they don’t.

The good news is that there’s another way. Instead of turning that pain inward, we can redirect it outward. This doesn’t mean you need to become ultra-productive or goal-oriented—though you can, if that resonates with you. It could be as simple as pouring your energy into creative pursuits, hobbies, or something you genuinely enjoy.

What’s important is that you break free from the habit of internalizing your pain. Because when you don’t, it’s like carrying a weight that never gets lighter. It chips away at your self-worth and leaves you stuck in a state of constant dissatisfaction.

The Fear of Letting Go

One of the biggest reasons we hold onto pain is fear—fear that without it, we’ll lose our drive. It’s a valid concern. If you’ve been using anger, bitterness, or self-loathing as fuel, the thought of letting it go can be terrifying. What will replace it? How will you stay motivated?

The answer is peace. Operating from a place of calmness doesn’t mean you lose your edge. In fact, it gives you clarity and focus. When you’re fueled by peace, you don’t need constant affirmations or external validation. You simply believe in yourself and your ability to handle whatever comes your way.

It’s not about ignoring the pain or pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s about processing it, working through it, and then choosing to let it go. Therapy can be an invaluable tool here, providing the foundation to dig deep and begin this process.

The Long Game

The fitness industry often glorifies short-term wins—pushing you to focus on the next workout, the next week, or even the next year. But life isn’t just about the next milestone; it’s about the decades ahead. Think about who you want to be in the long run. Do you want to be someone who’s bitter and stuck, or someone who’s calm, resilient, and at peace with themselves?

Focusing on the big picture requires patience and self-compassion. It means giving yourself room to grow and evolve. It’s okay to have goals, but don’t let them control your happiness. Instead, view them as checkpoints on a much larger journey.

Building Your Foundation

One of the simplest ways to start this process is by focusing on the basics—what I call the six minimum daily actions. These actions aren’t about perfection; they’re about progress. Miss a day? That’s fine. Miss a week? No big deal. What matters is that you keep coming back, building consistency over time.

As you practice these actions, you’ll start to see changes—not just in your body but in your mindset. You’ll begin to trust yourself, to feel confident in your ability to handle challenges, and to let go of the need to control every little detail.

A New Perspective

I’ve spent years rethinking how the fitness and weight loss industry operates. Too often, it preys on our insecurities, keeping us stuck in a cycle of self-criticism and anxiety. But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can take charge of your journey, not by following some cookie-cutter plan, but by building a foundation that works for you.

This process starts with how you view yourself. When you shift your focus inward and start working through the pain you’ve been carrying, you’ll discover a new level of clarity and calmness. And trust me, that’s where the real transformation happens.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If you’re ready to work on your mindset and approach to fitness from an inside-out perspective, I invite you to join The YLF Experience. This guided program will help you build a strong foundation and take control of your journey in a way that aligns with your values and goals. Click here to sign up now.