Hey there. Confidence is a choice. That might sound strange, but the truth is, confidence doesn’t come from repeating actions until you eventually believe in yourself. It starts with the belief first. You decide that you are capable, that you can navigate challenges, and that you have what it takes. From there, your actions reinforce that belief instead of being the thing you’re relying on to create it.
Think about it. You already reinforce beliefs about yourself every day. The way you see yourself is based on past experiences, habits, and thoughts that have been reinforced over time. If you’ve been reinforcing a negative belief about yourself, it’s because you’ve allowed certain thoughts and experiences to stack up in that direction. But what if you flipped it? What if you started reinforcing confidence instead?
The first step is to choose confidence. You don’t wait for proof. You make the decision and then begin looking for victories everywhere. Start recognizing your wins, no matter how small they seem. If you’re in a self-improvement mindset, you’re probably already good at identifying areas to work on, but don’t stop there. Also, look for opportunities, not just problems.
One of the ways I encourage this shift is through creative expression. Creativity expands your perspective and helps you see the bigger picture. It allows you to move beyond laser focus and recognize possibilities you might have missed before.
Another key aspect of building confidence is changing your internal dialogue. That quiet voice in your head, whether you’re fully aware of it or not, influences your confidence. If negative thoughts creep in, observe them instead of immediately believing them. If you can step outside those thoughts and see them for what they are, they lose their power.
Then, there’s keeping promises to yourself. It’s a simple but powerful way to build self-trust. It doesn’t have to be big. Start with one thing. Maybe it’s setting your alarm and actually getting up when it goes off. Hitting snooze might not seem like a big deal, but every time you break that small promise, it chips away at your self-trust. Choose one small promise and follow through.
As you do these things, you’ll naturally start stepping outside your comfort zone. But this doesn’t mean pushing yourself to the extreme. Growth happens gradually. Instead of trying to flip a switch and live outside your comfort zone all the time, work up to it. Challenge yourself in small ways, expand what feels possible, and build confidence through manageable steps.
Finally, give yourself grace. You won’t get this right all the time. I don’t either. My goal is to operate from this inside/out approach most of the time, and I give myself space when I fall short. Confidence isn’t about perfection. It’s about choosing to reinforce the belief that you are capable and showing up accordingly.
If you’re ready to take this process to the next level, I invite you to join The YLF Experience. This is your opportunity to build confidence from the inside out with guidance and support. Let’s make this shift together!