Hey there. A lot of times, the most obvious things we talk about are the most profound. These are the things that truly lead to change. Today, I want to talk about something that has the power to reshape your entire outlook on yourself: how to develop a positive self-image and self-perception.
This is one of those situations where you can take a step back, look at what you’ve been telling yourself, and ask, What if I did the opposite?
What Are You Telling Yourself?
The first step in changing your self-perception is identifying what you currently believe about yourself. I encourage you to sit down and write out the things you think about yourself, uncensored and unfiltered. Be as honest as possible, even if it’s uncomfortable.
Then, in a separate column, write the exact opposite of each statement. If you tell yourself you’re not capable, write that you are capable. If you say you’re not disciplined, write that you are disciplined. You’re creating a contrast between what you’ve been reinforcing and what you could be reinforcing.
Looking in the Mirror and Owning Your Narrative
I’m a big believer in the power of looking yourself in the eye and building yourself up in the moment. This isn’t about robotic affirmations that you repeat until they might sink in. It’s about genuinely seeing yourself, recognizing what’s there, and learning to appreciate it.
Each time you look in the mirror, the words you say to yourself might be different. Some days, you’ll repeat things you’ve told yourself before, but other times, something new will come up. That’s the beauty of staying in the moment. You’re not just reciting a script—you’re engaging with yourself.
However, when it comes to rewriting negative self-talk, structured repetition does have a place. The negative things we say about ourselves often play on a loop, so deliberately reinforcing the opposite is a way to rewrite that mental script.
Finding the Proof That Supports a Positive View
Once you’ve created that list of opposites, take it a step further, find evidence that supports those positive statements. Maybe these are things you’ve done in the past, qualities others have recognized in you, or traits you’re actively working on developing.
By identifying real proof that backs up these positive beliefs, you reinforce them. This is key because many of us unknowingly look for proof that we aren’t good enough. Now, we’re flipping that tendency and looking for proof that we are.
The result? You start seeing yourself differently. You shift from thinking, I’m not good enough to Wait, I actually have value. I bring something to the table. People enjoy being around me.
Shifting Your Focus to the Present and Future
Everything you’ve believed about yourself up to this point has shaped your self-perception. But just because that’s how you’ve seen yourself in the past doesn’t mean you have to continue seeing yourself that way.
Now, with this new framework, you can shift your focus to where you want to go. What’s next for you? What areas of life do you want to grow in? You can keep one eye on your future goals while staying present and engaged in your daily life.
Because here’s the truth: time moves fast. If you stay stuck in old narratives and outdated self-beliefs, you’ll miss out on what’s happening right now.
Your Perception Is Yours to Define
One of the most freeing realizations is that your perception is yours. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you. People don’t really know you—they know pieces of you. And if you’ve shared too much of yourself with the wrong people, that’s just a lesson to learn from.
This journey of self-perception and self-worth is an inside-out process. It all starts with how you talk to yourself, what you believe about yourself, and how compassionate you’re willing to be with yourself.
So ask yourself: Am I reinforcing a self-perception that helps me, or am I stuck in one that holds me back?
If you're ready to take this work deeper and build an inside/out approach to life I invite you to join The YLF Experience. This is where we take these mindset shifts and turn them into actionable steps for long-term growth.