Hey there. I’ve been in the fitness industry for a couple of decades, and I’ve seen how often it positions weight loss as the ultimate goal. The message has always been that if you just lose the weight, you’ll finally feel confident, happy, and worthy. But I’ve come to see that the real story is different. Weight loss is not the goal. It’s the byproduct of the actions you take and the mindset you choose to build.
I believe in the inside/out approach. That means choosing who you want to be first, then using your daily actions to reinforce that choice. When you decide first, your actions have purpose. They aren’t about proving something to yourself, they’re about reinforcing what you’ve already chosen. That shift makes all the difference.
When you look in the mirror, it’s easy to see flaws or remember the negative comments you’ve heard in the past. I know what that feels like. I live with cerebral palsy, and no matter how strong I get or how lean I become, I still have a body that functions differently. For years I had to wrestle with how I saw myself. But I’ve learned to quiet the negative chatter and build myself up, and I know you can too.
That’s where developing a calm and deliberate mindset comes in. Life is noisy. Your thoughts will bounce around in every direction at times. But when you can observe those thoughts, take a breath, and bring yourself back to a calm space, you take control. I don’t do this perfectly. Honestly, I probably only get there 85 percent of the time. But giving myself permission to reset instead of expecting perfection has made all the difference.
One exercise I use is what I call cosplaying your thoughts. You start by sitting in silence and observing them. Then you organize them by journaling. After that, you speak them back to yourself in the mirror, building yourself up instead of tearing yourself down. And finally, you play. Give yourself ten minutes each day to do something you enjoy and let your mind relax. These steps help you untangle years of negative self talk and start reinforcing the positive story you want to live.
If you want to practice this at your own pace, subscribe to the podcast and sign up for the Daily Email. That’s about ten minutes a day to start shifting how you see yourself. If you want more direct guidance, accountability, and structure, join The YLF Experience. It’s my answer to the gaps in the fitness industry, and it’s unlike anything else you’ve tried.
Confidence and clarity don’t come after you hit your goal weight. They start with a choice you can make today. Decide who you are, reinforce it every day, and let the results follow.