How I Stopped Letting Others Decide My Value
Hey there. I spent most of my life chasing external worth without even realizing it. I got praised early on for doing things the right way, for performing, for achieving, for being productive. Maybe you can relate. Somewhere along the way we learned that if we fit in and did what others expected, we would be accepted. So we watched what everyone else was doing. We matched our actions to theirs. We tried not to rock the boat.
And it shows up in fitness too. I talk a lot about weight loss and building a forever active lifestyle because fitness can give us structure. It can teach us consistency. It can help us set goals and prove to ourselves that we can follow through. But here is where it gets tricky. When we start chasing approval through our fitness actions, it becomes another performance. Another way to say, look at me. Look how disciplined I am. Look at how successful I am.
That pressure is exhausting. And it never ends.
The mechanics of weight loss are not a mystery. Eat in a calorie deficit. Move your body. Drink water. Sleep. Manage stress. You already know these things. Most of us have known them for years. So why is it still so hard. Why is it that with all the information we have, we still struggle. I believe it is because we have not spent nearly enough time working through our thoughts and our relationship with our own worth.
When fitness becomes another area where we try to prove we are enough, it tightens everything. It creates anxiety and fear of slowing down. Fear of sitting still with our thoughts. For years I told myself I was productive. I was pushing things forward. But the truth was I did not want to hear my own thoughts. I did not want to feel my emotions. It was easier to stay busy and keep performing.
Maybe you have been there. Maybe you are there right now.
This is not just about fitness. It is also about how we show up in our relationships, our careers, and our daily life. Many of us were reinforced for our output, not for who we are. So we learned to keep producing. Keep serving. Keep achieving. And over time we connected our value to what we do instead of who we are.
I do not want that for you. I do not want that for me either.
Yes, I want you to be consistent with your workouts. Yes, I want you to fuel your body and pursue your goals. But I want you to do it from the inside/out, not from a place of fear, pressure, or comparison. I want fitness to be like brushing your teeth. Something you do because it supports you. Not something that determines your worth.
Your worth is yours to decide. And you already know how to reinforce beliefs. You have done it your entire life. Now, you get to reinforce a new one. You are enough as you are. And you can continue to grow without tying your value to your performance.
If you want support and a space where you can build a sustainable fitness process that develops inner calm, self trust, and confidence instead of more pressure, I invite you to join me in The YLF Experience. You can take a look and sign up here:
I would love to walk with you as you build your forever active lifestyle from the inside/out.