Your Actual Why Starts With How You See Yourself

Hey there. I used to think my why was supposed to sound inspiring. I thought it needed to be tied to other people or to a version of my future that looked good on paper. I would say things like I am doing this for my health or I am doing this to be a better example for others. Those things mattered, but they were not the real reason I took action. They were not the reason I stayed consistent with my fitness. They were not the reason I kept coming back to something even when life got messy.

The real why, the one that actually drives your actions, starts with how you see yourself. Not how you wish you looked. Not how you hope others see you. Not the version of you that you think will finally be acceptable when you lose the weight or build the routine or hit the goal. I am talking about the honest view of yourself that you carry quietly. The one that shows up in the choices you make around food, workouts, relationships, work, and the way you talk to yourself when nobody else hears it.

Getting honest about how you see yourself is one of the most vulnerable things you will ever do. It takes work. It takes showing up. It takes sitting with thoughts you might have been avoiding for most of your life. For me, I had to get real about the identity I was carrying. I had to acknowledge the ways I saw myself as not enough and how that belief shaped everything I did. If you are like most people who have been on a long term weight loss journey, you probably know exactly what that feels like.

Once you know how you truly see yourself, you can start to shape how you want to see yourself. That is where the bridge forms. And here is the thing. Parts of that ideal image will fall away. Some things will change. New qualities will show up that you never even thought about before. That is how you grow. That is how you evolve into someone who trusts their choices instead of forcing themselves into plans that never felt right.

This is where fitness becomes personal. When you build your workouts around the activities you enjoy or the ones you are willing and able to do, you no longer have to battle yourself every day. When you eat based on your preferences instead of chasing perfection, consistency becomes something you develop naturally. You stop trying to learn to like things that do not fit you. You start doing more of what you actually enjoy. And when you do that long enough, the results you want are no longer the goal. They are the byproduct.

This same truth applies outside of fitness. When you connect with yourself honestly, you make different decisions in your relationships. You show up differently in your work. You stop looking at what everyone else is doing on social media and start following your own timeline. The pressure to match someone else’s pace loosens. You start choosing from a place of clarity instead of chasing approval from people who are not living your life.

A lot of people find therapy helpful when they are digging into this deeper identity work. I am one of those people who believes a productive therapy relationship can be life changing. But I also know not every therapist will be the right fit. Sometimes it is chemistry. Sometimes it is timing. Sometimes you realize the style is not aligned with what you are trying to figure out. If that has ever been you, there is nothing wrong with that. This work still starts with you. This work still starts with how you see yourself.

Your real why is not something that falls from the sky the moment you decide you want to change your life. It is something you discover by being honest about where you are right now. No judgment. No tearing yourself apart. No pretending. Just clarity. Once you have that clarity, everything else becomes easier to build. Fitness. Food choices. Routines. Relationships. Expectations. All of it.

If you are ready to build from a place of self trust and you want support while doing it, I would love to guide you. You can join one of The YLF Experience programs and build a flexible, sustainable inside/out process that fits your real life.