The Real Work Happens Beneath The Surface

Hey there. I have been thinking a lot lately about what sits beneath the surface of the things we do. In fitness, in work, in how we show up online and offline, there is always more going on than the actions people see. Most of the time, the things we chase on the outside are only the tip of the iceberg. They look impressive, they look disciplined, and they often get attention. But when you go deeper, you start to realize that your why is what drives everything. And if that why is built on not liking who you are or how you look, nothing on the outside will ever feel like enough.

I know this because I lived it. I used to think that if I did all the right fitness things, stayed consistent, dropped the weight, built the routine, and hit the benchmarks that everyone else thought mattered, I would finally feel lighter. I would feel calmer. I would feel worthy. And for a minute, it looked great from the outside. But inside, it was still heavy. It was still anxious. It was still never enough.

Going deeper is uncomfortable at first. It means asking yourself why you want certain results. It means noticing how you talk to yourself. It means paying attention to what makes you feel insecure or driven or overwhelmed. And it means starting the inside/out process where it actually needs to start, which is with you. Your mindset. Your identity. Your experienced life, not just your appearance.

This same thing shows up with how we use social media. I grew up with the internet. I watched social evolve from message boards and early platforms into this constant cycle of scrolling, comparing, reacting, and buying. Now we have a world where millions of people are following trends, editing videos the same way, chasing the same sounds, selling the same products, and hoping to go viral. But when everyone is doing the same thing, we stop seeing each other as people. We start becoming a blur of content.

I think a lot of us are craving something different. Not oversharing. Not dumping every detail of our lives online. But being thoughtful. Being intentional. Sharing the parts of our story that actually matter. The parts that have nuance. The parts that show actual lived experience instead of packaged moments.

For me, this means leaning into the stripped down content. The stuff that is real. The stuff that has one take. The stuff that is not built to go viral. I would rather have fifteen views from people who genuinely connect with the message than thousands of views from people who forget the video five seconds later. And whether we are talking about fitness or content or life, the people who connect with the real stuff are always the ones who matter most.

It is easy to get caught up in the numbers. We live in a world where metrics drive everything, from weight loss progress to social media algorithms to promotions at work. But if the numbers start to define who you think you are, they will eventually break you. The deeper work is learning to see the numbers as data, not as your value. The deeper work is trusting yourself enough to know that you are allowed to choose what kind of life you want to build. The deeper work is remembering that your story is valid even when it does not look like everyone else’s.

And this is the part that goes beyond fitness. Going deeper helps in relationships. It helps in your career. It helps when you feel stuck or overwhelmed or burnt out. It helps when you start questioning whether you are living your own life or just following the script you think you are supposed to follow. When you slow down, when you reflect, when you pay attention, you start to see the patterns that have been running your life for years. And once you see them, you can change them.

So whether you are working on your fitness, improving your relationship with food, adjusting how you use social media, building a career, or trying to reconnect with yourself in your mid 30s or beyond, I hope you choose to go deeper. I hope you choose the version of your life that is built from the inside/out. I hope you choose the story that is yours and not the one you think you are supposed to live. Because you have always been enough. You just needed the space to see it.

If you want guidance, structure, and support while you build that inside/out life for yourself, I would love to help you. You can join The YLF Experience here.