Since jumping back into the fitness industry at full speed, a couple of months ago, I’ve noticed that most of your trainers, coaches, and any other fitness professionals address questions around body image with logical statements like “ No one else is really paying attention to you, so just do your thing.” or “ you just need to get past this because you’re not the person you are when you started your weight loss journey.”
Here’s the thing, those statements aren’t necessarily incorrect, but what drives someone to think them is on an emotional level how they see themselves on the inside.
Our relationship with food comes back to how we feel about ourselves deep down as a person.
When someone’s trying to lose weight, they’re not only trying to create new habits and routines but more importantly, they have to be able to connect with themselves and work through everything that they have been carrying emotionally, in many cases their entire life.
The saddest thing to see is someone doing all this work to change what’s on the outside because that’s something they’ve desperately wanted for a long time, only to see them win the weight loss game but soon realize that they don’t feel any different on the inside.
Some of them then feel guilty because they chased something for so long thinking it would make them happy but instead they feel empty to some level.
This isn’t just a weight loss industry issue. This is chasing anything outside of yourself thinking it’s going to fill the void and remove the pain.
Your best bet is to start reconnecting with yourself now and work through everything you feel while you are chasing after all of those goals.
I know you can do it. 💪🏻
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If you feel like you’re constantly starting over on your fitness or weight loss journey, I want you to hear this clearly.
It’s not a discipline problem.
I know that’s what most people assume. I know that’s what the industry tends to push. But if you’ve been stuck in this cycle for a while, there’s something else going on.
Ever feel like you’re thinking about food all day?
What you’re going to eat next, whether you should have something, whether it’s “good” or “bad,” and constantly going back and forth in your head?
That’s what a lot of people refer to as food noise.
And the first thing I want to say is this.
It’s not always a bad thing.
“The gym is my therapy.”
I’ve said it. You’ve probably said it too.
And to be clear, the gym does help. Moving your body, getting a workout in, having that outlet, it can absolutely shift how you feel mentally and emotionally.
That connection between your body and your mind is real.
But here’s where I think we need to take this a step further.
It’s not the gym or therapy.
It’s both.
For a long time, I thought confidence was something you earned.
You take enough action.
You build enough proof.
You stack enough wins.
And then eventually, you believe in yourself.
That sounds logical. It sounds like it should work.
But here’s the problem.
If you’re waiting for action to create belief, you’re always moving the goalpost.
There’s a phrase that gets said a lot when something tragic happens.
“I’m here if you need me. Just reach out.”
And on the surface, that sounds right. It sounds supportive. It sounds like what someone should say.
But for a lot of men, it’s not that simple.
You did everything you were supposed to do.
You showed up.
You put in the work.
You changed your habits.
You lost the weight.
And then you looked in the mirror… and still didn’t like what you saw.
Hey there. Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood concepts in personal growth.
For many of us, especially those who have spent years trying to change our bodies, forgiveness feels dangerous. If I forgive myself, does that mean I am letting myself off the hook? If I forgive someone else, does that mean what they did was acceptable?
Hey there. Do not let the world harden you too much.
If you are in your mid 30s or beyond and you have been on a weight loss journey for years, chances are you have been through some things. You have opened up. You have tried again. You have trusted a plan. You have trusted people. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it blew up in your face.
Hey there. There is a difference between being self sufficient and being isolated.
For a lot of people in their mid 30s and beyond, especially those who have been on a weight loss journey for years, independence feels like survival. You learned early on to rely on yourself. To not expect too much. To handle your own problems. To quietly fix your body, your habits, your life.
Hey there. There is a difference between hope and pretending.
If you have been on a weight loss journey for years, especially if you are now in your mid 30s or beyond, you have probably been told to just stay positive. Just think better thoughts. Just focus on the bright side. Just be grateful.
But sometimes things are hard. Your body does not respond the way you want. Your motivation dips. Life throws curveballs. You look in the mirror and still feel behind, even after all the work you have done.
Hey there. If you have been on a weight loss journey for years, you have likely felt the quiet pressure to fight aging.
Fight the wrinkles.
Fight the weight gain.
Fight the softness.
Fight the clock.
But what if aging is not the enemy?
Hey there. If you have been on a weight loss journey for years, especially if you are in your mid 30s or beyond, there is a good chance you have spent a large portion of your life trying to fix yourself.
Hey there. There is a quiet loop that so many people live in.
It sounds like this. I should have known better. I messed that up. If I had just started sooner. If I had just stayed consistent. If I had not quit.
Hey there. For years, maybe decades, you have been aware of your body.
Aware of how it looks.
Aware of how it compares.
Aware of how it measures up to whatever standard was put in front of you.
Daryl
I want you to build a better relationship with yourself from the inside out. Check out my work on this blog, my podcasts and pretty much everywhere else online.