How to Be Less Critical When You Look in the Mirror

There is a difference between looking at yourself in the mirror and monitoring yourself.

When I say monitoring, I mean scanning.

Checking.

Fixating.

Looking for the same areas you tend to criticize.

Maybe you stand in front of the mirror and immediately start searching for something you do not like.

Maybe you look at one part of your body, have a negative thought about it, and suddenly that thought becomes much bigger.

I do not like how this part of my body looks.

Can quickly become:

I do not like myself.

That is why I think it is worth asking what you are actually doing when you look in the mirror.

Start With What You Already Do

Before trying to completely change the way you see yourself, get clear on what is happening now.

Where do your eyes go first?

What do you say to yourself?

What parts of your body get the most attention?

Are you looking for things you appreciate, or are you looking for things to tear apart?

You do not need to judge yourself for the answers.

You are collecting information.

If you recognize something you do not like about the way you are treating yourself, then you have something specific you can work on.

Your Body Is More Than Something to Evaluate

I also think it helps to widen the way you think about your body.

What can your body do?

And I do not only mean athletic performance.

Your body carries you through your life.

It allows you to experience things.

It adapts.

It recovers.

It continues working through situations you may barely even think about.

Having cerebral palsy has probably made me especially aware of this.

Cerebral palsy affects the vast majority of my body, and I genuinely appreciate what my body is able to do.

That does not mean I am endlessly positive about it.

I get frustrated.

I get critical.

Pain and injury are especially difficult for me.

There are days when I think, I wish my body was not like this.

Appreciating your body does not require pretending you never feel frustrated with it.

The Important Part Is What Happens Next

For me, the difference is that I do not want those moments to become permanent conclusions.

I can be frustrated.

I can feel bad for a while.

Maybe it lasts for the rest of the day.

Maybe it takes a couple of days to work through.

But eventually, I have to redirect.

I have to let the thought move through instead of holding onto it and turning it into another piece of evidence against myself.

That is the skill I think matters.

Not perfection.

Redirection.

Practice Building Yourself Up

If you have spent years monitoring your body critically, you have probably gotten pretty good at it.

You know exactly where to look.

You know exactly what to say.

You may even do it automatically.

So what would happen if you practiced the opposite?

Look in the mirror and intentionally find something you appreciate.

Then find another thing.

It might involve your appearance.

It might involve something your body allows you to do.

It might go deeper than your body altogether.

The goal is not to say positive things you think you are supposed to say. The goal is to gradually develop a way of seeing yourself that you genuinely believe.

I want you to get to a point where you can look at yourself and think, I am a fan of this person.

I like what I see.

I appreciate what this body does for me.

I love me some me.

You may not feel that every time you look in the mirror.

Neither do I.

But there is a big difference between having an occasional critical thought and repeatedly standing in front of the mirror looking for reasons to tear yourself apart.

Notice which one you are practicing.

Then decide what you want to practice instead.

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