When Your Weight Loss Journey Needs a Different Question

Hey there. For a long time, I thought there was something wrong with me. I had interests, goals, and ambitions that did not line up with what most people around me seemed to want. In fitness, in work, and in life, I constantly felt like I was trying to squeeze myself into a version that made other people more comfortable.

If you have been on a weight loss journey for years, you probably know this feeling well. You follow plans that look good on paper. You try to eat the right way, train the right way, and show up the right way. And yet, something always feels off. Not because you are failing, but because the plan does not actually fit who you are.

At some point, I realized that trying to fit in was exhausting me more than the work itself. In fitness, this showed up as forcing routines I hated, chasing results that never felt satisfying, and constantly restarting because the process felt heavy. Outside of fitness, it showed up in how I approached my career, my confidence, and how I related to other people.

Here is the shift that changed everything for me. Instead of trying to change who I was, I started trying to understand who I was.

In fitness, that meant asking better questions. What kind of movement do I actually enjoy. What level of structure helps me stay consistent without burning out. What does progress look like for my body, not someone else’s. When I stopped copying and started paying attention, consistency became calmer. My relationship with food became less emotional. My confidence stopped being tied only to results.

This same approach applies everywhere else. If you have ambitions that other people do not understand, that does not mean they are wrong. If you feel out of place in certain rooms, that does not mean you need to shrink yourself to belong. Most people are not going to understand you when you decide to do things differently. Some may even dislike you for it, because it challenges how they see themselves.

But the right people will get you.

This is the heart of the inside/out approach I talk about so often. Real change does not come from forcing yourself to be someone else. It comes from aligning your actions with who you already are. When you do that, fitness becomes supportive instead of punishing. Goals feel meaningful instead of draining. Life feels steadier instead of constantly uphill.

I spent years hiding parts of myself, including my body and my lived experience with cerebral palsy. Over time, I realized that hiding was costing me far more than showing up honestly ever could. Leaning into who you are does not make life easier overnight, but it does make it clearer. And clarity builds trust. Trust builds consistency. Consistency changes everything.

If you have spent years trying to fix yourself, maybe it is time to stop fixing and start understanding. You were never broken.

If you want individualized guidance applying this inside/out approach to fitness, mindset, and daily life, you can join The YLF Experience.