The Web Of Approval

Hey there. I want to talk about something that quietly shapes a lot of our choices. I call it the web of approval. It is that invisible pressure that makes you second guess yourself because you are worried about what someone else might think.

Here is the strange part. Most people are not actually focused on you. They are focused on how they are being seen, judged, and understood. They are worried about their own reflection in other peoples eyes. Yet we hold ourselves back, stay quiet, or change direction because of opinions that mostly live in our imagination.

I see this all the time in fitness.

Someone wants to go to the gym but they are worried they will look out of place. Someone wants to lift heavier but they are afraid of being watched. Someone wants to try a new eating approach but they are scared of being questioned. So they stay stuck. Not because they cannot do the thing, but because they are trying to manage other peoples reactions before they even happen.

I have done this too.

There were times I did not say what I really thought. Times I softened what I wanted. Times I delayed action because I was trying to stay comfortable in other peoples expectations. And every single time, it pulled me further away from myself.

That is the real cost of chasing approval. It disconnects you from you.

When you are always checking yourself against imagined opinions, you stop listening to your own voice. You stop trusting your own effort. You stop seeing your own growth. In fitness, that looks like constantly restarting, constantly doubting, constantly thinking you are behind. In life, it looks like choosing paths that do not actually fit you.

Here is what I believe.

By and large, it is you and you.

The opinions that truly matter will not require you to prove yourself. You will not have to fight for their respect. You will not have to shrink to keep them comfortable. The people who belong in your life will support you being you, just like you support them being them.

This is where the inside/out choice matters.

When you start living from the inside/out, you stop asking, Do they approve? and you start asking, Do I feel aligned? You start noticing your effort instead of only your outcomes. You start celebrating your small wins instead of only chasing big changes.

In fitness, that might look like being proud that you showed up three days this week. It might look like noticing that you made calmer food choices. It might look like adjusting your plan without shaming yourself.

In life, it might look like saying no when you mean no. It might look like choosing work that fits you instead of impresses others. It might look like speaking honestly instead of performing.

This does not make you selfish. It makes you honest.

You are not here to live out someone else’s expectations of you. You are here to build a life that feels like yours. That includes your body. That includes your goals. That includes your pace.

If you have been on a weight loss journey for years, you already know this. You have tried plans. You have tried rules. You have tried becoming someone else. And you are still here, still trying, still hoping. That means you were never broken. You were just trying to live from the outside in.

I want you to try something different.

Look at your effort. Be proud of what you are doing. Look for your wins. Look for the places you can gently clean things up. And most of all, stay connected to yourself.

You do not need to escape the web of approval all at once. You just need to stop feeding it.

Choose you. Not loudly. Not aggressively. Just honestly.

And watch what starts to change.