The Hidden Messages Inside Your Reactions

Hey there. I have a question for you, and this is not one I want you to answer out loud. Who or what offends you? I am not asking because I want the details. I am asking because I want you to pay attention to what lights you up inside. I have learned that when something offends me, there is almost always a deeper reason beneath the surface. It is rarely just about the moment that is in front of me. It usually connects to a part of myself that I have not fully let go of yet.

I see this a lot in fitness. Someone makes a comment about a workout routine, a calorie target, a weigh in, or a progress photo and suddenly we are angry, hurt, embarrassed, or defensive. If you have been on a weight loss journey for years, you know how personal the process can feel. We say it is just about the scale, food choices, or the gym, but it is also about worth, identity, and being seen. So when someone says something that hits too close to home, we react. I react too.

Sometimes the things that offend us are the things we still see in ourselves. Maybe you get offended when someone talks about discipline because you are still trying to build consistency. Maybe you get offended when you see someone quitting because you are afraid you might quit. Or maybe you get offended when someone shares their success because you want the same things for yourself but do not feel like you are getting there fast enough.

Other times, offense shows us the expectations we never said out loud. I catch myself expecting people to understand where I am coming from without me explaining it. In life, in relationships, in business, and yes, even in fitness. We all have expectations. The more honest we are about them, the better our communication becomes. If someone disagrees with our expectations, we get to decide how to respond. We can set a boundary. We can step away. We can protect our peace without trying to control anyone else.

There is another layer to this that I do not talk about often. Sometimes I get offended because I am afraid of being misunderstood. I want people to see who I really am. I want people to get what I am saying. And when they do not, it bothers me more than I want to admit. If I have wrapped my identity into my opinions, then a disagreement feels like a threat. That is something I continue to work on, because I do not want to live a life where my calm is just for show. I want the inside/out version. The real version.

The next time something or someone offends you, try to pause before reacting. You do not have to fire back. You do not have to prove anything. You can observe what you are feeling and ask yourself why this moment matters so much. Maybe the most helpful thing you can do is give yourself a few minutes. Sit with it. Decide how you want to respond or if you want to respond at all.

Offense is information. It can help you grow if you let it.

If you want support in developing a calmer, stronger, more confident relationship with yourself through an inside/out approach to fitness, you can join one of The YLF Experience coaching options. You can sign up here: Join The YLF Experience