The Game You Were Never Taught How To Win

Hey there. I want you to think about how much time and energy you have spent picking yourself apart.

How many mornings have you stood in front of the mirror, scanning for what is wrong, what needs fixing, what still is not good enough?

For a lot of people, that habit goes back decades. Not because you are broken, but because this is how the game was taught. Lose weight and then you will like yourself. Change your body and then your life will feel better. Fix the outside and the inside will magically follow.

That story is powerful. It gets into your head early. It follows you into adulthood. It shapes how you see food, exercise, rest, relationships, and even your own worth.

I have seen it over and over. People start another plan, another reset, another push to finally get it right. They are not just trying to change their body. They are trying to change how they feel about themselves.

And when the plan does not work, or only works for a little while, they do not blame the system. They blame themselves.

You were never really taught how to build a foundation.

You were given tactics. Eat this, not that. Train harder. Be more disciplined. Go faster. Lose it quicker. Prove you want it bad enough.

Those tools can work for a while. But if they are not built on a foundation of self respect, understanding, and sustainability, they do not last. And when they fall apart, you are the one who takes the blame.

I think exercise matters. I think having an eating plan you enjoy matters. I think blood work, health markers, and physical comfort in your own body all matter.

But I also think these things should matter in the same way brushing your teeth matters.

It is important. You show up and do it most days. You take care of it because it supports your life.

But if you miss a day, you do not spiral. You do not decide you are a failure. You do not throw away the whole week. You just get back to it.

Think about how different that is from how you treat fitness and food.

Miss a workout and suddenly it means something about who you are. Eat something that is not on plan and now the whole day is ruined. One choice turns into a story about your character.

That mental tug of war is exhausting.

It is exhausting in fitness. It is exhausting in work. It is exhausting in relationships. It is exhausting in how you talk to yourself when nobody else is around.

You start to live like you are always on trial. Always needing to prove that you are trying hard enough, good enough, disciplined enough, worthy enough.

And the worst part is that you are playing a game you were never given the rules to.

You were told the goal. Lose weight. Be smaller. Be different.

But you were not taught how to build a life that actually supports you while you move toward that goal.

That is where the inside/out approach comes in.

Inside/out means we start with how you think, how you talk to yourself, how you treat your mistakes, and how you define success. Then we build habits around food, movement, and daily structure that fit into a real life.

It is not just about calories and workouts. It is about identity.

Who are you when you are not performing. Who are you when you mess up. Who are you when progress is slow.

Those answers matter just as much as what you eat for lunch or how many steps you get in.

This shows up outside of fitness too.

I see it in careers. People chase promotions thinking then they will feel confident. I see it in relationships. People change themselves hoping then they will finally be chosen. I see it in creativity. People wait until they feel good enough before they start.

It is always the same pattern. Fix the outside first. Then maybe the inside will feel okay.

But it does not work that way.

When you build from the inside first, everything changes. You still care about your goals. You still train. You still eat with intention. You still want to grow.

But you are not at war with yourself along the way.

You are allowed to learn. You are allowed to be imperfect. You are allowed to move forward without hating where you are now.

That is what I want for you.

I do not want you to miss your life because you are stuck in a mental battle you cannot win. I do not want you to spend another decade thinking you will finally be okay once your body changes enough.

You have always been enough. You just were never taught how to treat yourself like it.

And that is something you can start changing today.