The Difference Between Body Image and Self Esteem

Body image and self-esteem are connected, but they aren't the same thing.

Body image is how we feel about what we see in the mirror. Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves as a person, how much we trust ourselves, how capable we believe we are, and the story we tell ourselves about who we are. I believe our self-esteem drives our body image.

You can have high self-esteem and still look in the mirror and think, "I'd like to improve this." The difference is that those thoughts don't become your identity. When self-esteem is healthy, you can notice something you want to change without believing there's something wrong with you. When self-esteem is low, it's much easier for your appearance to become the foundation of your worth.

That's why changing your body doesn't automatically change how you see yourself.

If you don't improve your self-esteem, no amount of physical change will ever feel like enough. You may feel better for a while, but eventually the finish line moves. You convince yourself that another five pounds, another milestone, or another change will finally bring the peace you're looking for.

The problem isn't your body. The problem is the story you've been telling yourself.

We reinforce beliefs about ourselves every day. Many of those beliefs begin with our environment. We absorb messages from family, friends, social media, and culture without realizing it. Over time, those messages become the story we tell ourselves.

The good news is that stories can change.

It starts with a choice.

Stand in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eye, and decide that from this point forward you're going to appreciate yourself from the inside out. You're writing a different story.

That doesn't mean the old thoughts disappear overnight. If you've spent years or even decades thinking one way about yourself, those thoughts will still show up. Instead of expecting them to disappear, notice them and redirect them. You're not pretending they never existed. You're practicing a different way of seeing yourself.

When you look in the mirror, don't search for reasons to tear yourself down. Look for reasons to build yourself up. Appreciate the things you like about your appearance, but also appreciate your character, your resilience, your kindness, and the qualities that make you who you are. Many of the things you've labeled as flaws are the very things that make you unique.

I don't think the goal is body positivity.

The goal is being positive about yourself.

As you continue taking care of your health, staying active, following an eating plan that works for you, and building sustainable habits, your body will change over time. Those changes can be exciting, but they shouldn't determine whether you appreciate yourself today.

When you begin appreciating yourself from the inside out, something else changes.

Your mind gets quieter.

You operate from a calm headspace. You move through life at a more deliberate pace. You're no longer chasing peace through your appearance because you've decided that your body isn't responsible for creating your self-worth.

The choice is always yours.

You can continue telling yourself the story you've always believed, or you can decide to write a different one from this point forward.

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